All or Nothing

i always tried to follow my heart, which almost always
made me going against the flow, ignoring opportunities
and passing the perks of taking the "normal" route.
Guess this is where my real problem is - it is all or
nothing, if there is a tiny bit of pretence then its not for
real, if you are slacking for a second then you are not
going for the goal, if you are not driving yourself into the
ground then why do it at all? I am talking about the
primal call - things that make you- you. We cannot be
perfect at everything, there are things that we do out of
curiosity or for leisure, but things that we were born for
can't be done half-assed. .. it's like discovering the law
of gravity- you can't just go like- "oh well, here's falling
apples, may be I should go watch a movie, eat some
popcorn and it'll go away tomorrow..." I just can't live
like that, it makes me feel like living dead...